Just now, because I was bored, I took a look at my phone’s user dictionary. You know, the words that you’ve typed to someone that aren’t already in the phone’s system, so to stop them from getting changed you input your own word. Here are some of the highlights:

Barfed and barfing - How are these words not in the dictionary to begin with? Don’t they know that a majority of cell phones belong to college kids who still can’t old their booze?

Downey, Gaga, Xmen, McAvoy – Can you tell what I’ve been obsessed with in Hollywood lately?

Every version of fuck you can think of.

And while we’re on my non-ladylike prowess, here are these - horseshit, dickhead, twat

Jawn, Septa – Thanks a lot, Philadelphia.

Lawd – Apparently I go all southern Baptist sometimes.

Nomnomnom

Poopy – Am I five?

Snitchesssss

Tumblr

Vuvuzela

And last but not least, these were listed in order and I almost died laughing.

stripper, swag, tacos.

What the..?

I had an incredibly interesting week thus far, and it has a lot to do with bands and food.

Actually, right now I need to write this because of a food thing I’m doing. I have an hour left in this office and if I don’t start typing, I’m going to fall asleep.

I’m doing a Man vs. Food-like challenge. Man vs. Food is a TV show where Adam Richman (bless his heart and stomach) takes on HUGE food challenges, so I sought up some very big (or unusual) dishes in our area.

I won’t spoil it and tell you all of them (it gets published Wednesday, check it out then!) but I will tell you that today I ate a three and a half pound ice cream dish in 59 minutes.

A lot of time? Sure. But I’m a tiny thing, so the fact that I even finished at all was a miraculous occurrence. I got a t-shirt, they put my picture on the wall, and they had my time be the new standard.

You see, some high school football player came in and demolished the dish in 10 minutes and 3 seconds. Wtf?

That set the bar so high that they decided to wipe the board clean, and start with me. I may have set the bar kinda low, but whatever. Hello, personal victory!

This dish consists of: 6 scoops of ice cream, two bananas, whipped cream, 3 cherries, and 14 toppings.

I feel for Adam Richman, I do. The last twenty minutes were hell. I sat and stared at a TINY square of brownie and THREE stupid cherries. Those god damn cherries. I don’t really like cherries, so I saved them for last but…big mistake. When I was chewing them I felt like I was going to barf.

But then, all of a sudden, as I was shoving another piece of brownie into my mouth, it was like the clouds opened up. I shoveled the last four scoops in and was done.

Everything was just one goopy mess the entire time and looking down made me want to barf. I concentrated on the TV and on talking to the people in the shop and that helped a lot. But really, I almost threw up in my mouth twice.

The guy at the shop was so impressed I finished. He was so encouraging the whole time, and he talked to me and kept me busy, was so nice. I’m planning on writing them a thank you note, just for being so damn awesome.

As for me? Well, I have to go home and take a nap. A very long, long nap.

And I’m going to spend the last $20 to my name on Gaga’s album, because I FINALLY have the time to go get it.

Oi. Sugar, ice cream…ugh. I never want to see ice cream or any accoutrements of it EVER. AGAIN.

Each year Wilkes-Barre holds the Fine Arts Fiesta, which is an awesome gathering of local (and some national) people from the arts realm (I'm talking painting, dancing, sculpting, everything).
Of course, the Times Leader puts out a special section about it.

Well this year since I'm the newbie I've been assigned the honor *coughcough* of acquiring allllllll the lists and data provided the the FAF committee to put into the system and format.

I've been doing it ALL. DAY. I'm sitting here bulleting huge lists. I actually just caught myself holding my breath while I was methodically bulleting one.

No wonder I have such a god damn headache.

Well, where do I start?

I went full-time since we last spoke on here! It's been a whirlwind, let me tell you.

I'm trying to get used to working on things a week in advance and I'm also settling into my slight role as a news reporter.

That's right, on Sundays I'm the day reporter, which means I get to do more newsy things.

Which isn't too bad. I can't lie, I'm not in love with it. For one, it makes me nervous. I've never been trained in news reporting, really. I'm more of a features girl, not really one for the hard stuff.

I love hearing people's stories, but not when it's one of tragedy. For example, last week I had to look into a young girl's death. It was not pleasant and it bothered me most of the day.

I know I can't let things like that get to me, but I just can't help it.

Today, though, is awesome because I'm going to a Habitat for Humanity house dedication and the woman the house is for is a single mom that was paralyzed in a car accident three years ago. She actually worked on this house, as well as ANOTHER Habitat house, and she just seems so pleasant and positive and I really cannot wait to meet her later when I go for the dedication.

THAT is something I don't mind writing about. I was almost in tears when talking to her on the phone.

Maybe I get a little too into some of the stories, but I don't care. I'm a human being with feelings that generally, and genuinely, loves people. I hope that comes out in my writing.

Aaaand I'm back, bitches.

I found that on Tumblr I was just reblogging, reblogging, nothing original of my own, which I don't want to do for my blog. So here I am again! Back at it, Blogger.

Sorry I left you for so long.

Alright.

Unlike the aforementioned boyfriend, I'm going to own up to my cheating ways.

I like tumblr. A lot. It's more interactive, animated, yadda yadda. So, go here:

NEW!

It's fun times, I promise.

I'll miss you blogger. Unless I somehow start to dislike tumblr and move back here!

This is awesome.

Dear Black-Eyed Peas,

What in god's name is a "dirty bit"?

Not that I don't enjoy it, I just want to know what I'm shaking my ass to as I do the dishes most days.

I've been listening to Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You" on repeat for the past hour.

No, I don't know the words yet because I literally just spit the "fuck you" part out of my mouth every time it rolls by. I pay attention to nothing else.

Link is neutered, and it is not helping the fact that he barks at EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

He's 9 months old. Will he grow out of this? Someone please tell me he will. People look at him like he's mean, and he's NOT. His tail is wagging when he barks; he just wants attention.

Poor pupperface.

Enrique Iglesias's Tonight, the dirty version, does things to me that are just unhealthy.

you're welcome to buy me these.

i can't even.

This man. Ugh. Mark Duplass, of the League, among many other things. He's just so....gorgeous? And he's only 10 years older than me, so maybe I'd have a shot. Despite the fact that he's married to his League costar, but whatever.

She's a brunette.
So am i.

I still say I have a shot.

So, like I said, I did a story I'm obsessed with, and it's about wigs. See here:

Wigs!

I'm obsessed with it because I'm a huge hair person. I'm always dying and cutting mine, and I get bored very easily. I'll probably be bald by the time I'm 30, but whatever.

Well, when I went to do the wig story, I ended up trying on a wig and FALLING IN LOVE. So, I bought one.

Yep, I'm nearly 25 and I wear a wig sometimes. What of it? And I bet I'm going to buy another.

So here, constant reader, is my wig, in all its glory.

Obits are slow tonight. Thankfully, after the thirty cold ones I served up last night.

Pick your five TV shows (in no particular order) and answer the following questions. Don’t cheat!

A. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

B. True Blood

C. Glee

D. How I Met Your Mother

E. Saved by the Bell

1. Who’s your favorite character in B? - Tara. She's so tragic, it's annoying.

2. Who’s your least favorite character in A? - Ohhh boy. Hmm. No one immediately comes to mind. Maybe Willow, during her magic/druggie phase.

3. What’s your favorite episode of D? - Anything where Josh Radner looks hot. So, all of them.

4. What’s your favorite season of E? - Where they were working at the beach!

5. Who is your favorite ship in C? - Santana/Brittany

6. Who is your anti-ship in B? - Sam/Tara

7. How long have you watched A? - I came into it during the 4th season (the best one, IMHO), caught up with the first three, and watched it through the end. And I now watch the DVDs.

8. How did you become interested in C? - I'm a sucker for a musical, so my interest was piqued from the start.

9. Who’s your favorite actor/actress in D? - Actor: Josh Radnor!; Actress: Colbie Smulders. What a hottie and a funny woman.

10. Which do you prefer: Show A or B or E? - A. Buffy wins over everything.

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of, A or C? - A, simply because they have more.

12. If you could be anyone from D, who would you be? - Robin. She's just a great character.

13. How would you kill off your favorite character in A? - ACK why would I want to do that?! I would just push him out into the sun, of course. But, he's already come back from that once, so I dunno if it'd work.

14. Give a random quotation from A? - So I said to myself, "Self," I said...

16. Would a C/D crossover work? - IT HAS. NPH on Glee !

17. Pair 2 characters in A that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple. Willow and Spike.

18. Has E inspired you in any way? - It inspired me to buy a Mark Paul Gossealar puzzle, which I still have today.

19. Overall, which show has a better cast, B or D? - Oh man, B. Skaarsgard decides that.

20. Which has better theme music, C or E? - CLEARLY, E. And a better opening sequence too. Helloooo geometrical figures!

At first I thought, "New year, I'll make a new blog!" But no, that's too much work. So, I'll probably make a new layout.

Blogspot, I can't lie to you...I had a brief affair with Tumblr. But DON'T WORRY. I was confused as shit by it. It was more complicated than the boy I dated that went to the gym every single day yet lost no weight.

(I found out later his lard ass was cheating on me instead of gymming it up, natch. Too bad that form of exercise didn't help his flabby self at all, either.)

Speaking of lard ass, one thing I AM going to change this year is my weight. Seriously, I need to get on this. I've said it a gajilliion times, to no avail.

So, to force myself to get shit done, here you go:

I'm 160 pounds. 159.8, to be exact, but who's counting?

I would like to be 130.

Let's see if I can do this, eh?

Also, mayhaps I'll start vlogging. If I'm being forced to look at my face (which I deem chubby) and to have YOU guys looking at it, it'll make me want to lose more.

In other news, I did an awesome article on wigs that's coming out Thursday. I'm super pumped about it.

Want to know what the city editor just told me when I told him that obits have been packed, at a minimum of 20 every shift I've done?

"They're just dying to get in the paper."

Sometimes, my computer in the newsroom sounds like it's going to blow up. Like right now. It's actually so hindering that I have a hard time hearing funeral directors I'm talking to on the phone. S'kinda like a rocket getting ready to lift off, which is fine by me. Go on, black clunky Dell, and take the obits with you, as well as my will to work tonight. Because that, already, is zilch.

I FINALLY got what I've been asking for for Christmas for six years now - a gift card to go get a massage at a local spa. Sounds bratty, right? Well, maybe it is a little bit, but god dammit, I just want 60 minutes to not think about ANYTHING.

And to have my back and feet rubbed, which I wish Tony would do and I bug him about it so much that he bought me a five dollar hand held massager thingy and it just isn't the same when I do it myself because I absorb a lot of vibration into the hand that's holding the massager thingy and it's very distracting. God.ILIVESUCHAHARDLIFE.

I think about where I was at this time last year and it's weird. At this time last year I was getting ready to move back to NEPA from Philly. I was still freelancing out the house and had nothing solid.

Now I work in a newsroom weekly and publish stories weekly, with the HUGE HOPES of going full-time in the near future. Like hopefully the first two months of 2011.

I turn 25 this year. TWENTY FIVE. Something else big has to happen, right?

amazing.

Right now I am speaking this blog out on my new phone, the droid x. How insane is that? It's like I don’t even need my laptop any more!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Happy 100 to meeeeeeee!

HAPPY 100th POST! WOOT!

Here are some survey questions 'cause I'm bored. In the next one imma bitch about an always forgotten Christmas prezzie.



Tell us your three favorite colors: Red, black, and grey. And most often together in some design. I want my wedding dress to be red, black, and white. Weird? Yea. Me? Also yea.

Your favorite season, and why: Fall. Living in our area is a really great place to be when fall hits. The colors of the leaves and, therefore, the insane scenery of the surrounding mountains is out of this world. It's also the beginning of the fashion year so I can see what trends are upcoming and I can dig out my awesome fall boots!

How you came across BLOGGER, and how your life has changed since joining: Blogger was just the next step in a long staircase of blogs I've had. I simply upgraded from LiveJournal and this is actually my second blog on here.

Are you a fitness guru or coach potato? Talk about your exercise habits: There aren't really any to talk about, which is so sad. I REALLY need to start getting my shit together, and fast. I can't get away with the stretchy waistbands of summer shorts and capris. It's jeans season, dammit!

Favorite meme at the moment: Hide yo children, hide yo wife - they rapin' everybody up in here!

Talk about your pets, or the pets you would like to have: I have my precious little dude, Link, who is a 7 month old miniature dachshund. He's this awesome reddish brown color with gorgeous eyes. He's SUPER long and has a puppy face that I hope he never loses. Oh, and he likes to hump people. I guess he takes after mommy and daddy.

Your top three favorite bands: Of all time? Oh jeez, why this pressure? No Doubt is my first choice, I just adore all of them.

Your thoughts/opinions about Harry Potter: Do you WANT to be here for eight years? Seriously, though, I'm a little obsessed. I dressed up as Bellatrix for the midnight of the 6th movie and was on the front page of a paper in Philly. Do I need to tell you any more than that?

Your thoughts/opinions about Mean Girls: Boo, you whore. I remember a while ago my parents went away for the night (when I was living at home) and I decided I was going to be cool and get pizza and movies for myself and just sit home and have a ME night. I rented that movie and the movie Saved. Mean Girls always reminds me of how awesome it felt to be hanging out with myself and loving it.

Do you have siblings? Talk about them, or talk about what it’s like to be an only child: I'm an only child, and I don't get the big deal. I never longed for a sibling, I'm not a total bratface (notice I said TOTAL), so I don't know why people think only children are horrid. We aren't. We're just better than you.

Tell us your favorite junk food: Anything that involves chocolate and peanut butter. What a lovely marriage of tastes.

Your favorite Disney Princess movie: Beauty and the Beast. I always loved Belle because she loved books.

Your thoughts on Ugg Boots: I don't get the fuss.

Do you drink soda more often than milk? Ugh yes. Not any more, I hope.

The initials of your crush: A.R. (Not the state of Arkansas, thanks.)

Do you wear glasses? If so, what are they for? I do. I hate them. I have contacts, but I need new ones and can't afford them, so I wear my glasses until I have monies.

Your favorite subject to study: Literature, writing, Egypt, mythology, psychology.

Do you play a sport? Tell us about it. If not, talk about a different hobby you have: I used to play volleyball and LOVED IT.

Your opinions on Lady Gaga: Her fashion is just...out of this world. And her songs make me really happy. And her concert made me cry. I guess I'm in love with her?

Tell us about the last movie you saw in theatres: Due Date. Robert Downey Jr. punched a five year old and spit on a dog. That's all you need to know.

Tell us about the last book you read: leisure or school: I'm currently reading a book on Greek mythology. Before that I read a book called Lipstick Jungle, which is a waste of paper product and ink.

Name one place you would to visit one day: Egypt.

List your three favorite girls names, three favorite boys names, and your three favorite names for a pet: Girls: Harlow...? Boys: Gauge, Pierce, ? Pets: There is only one. Link. Answering this question was weird, because I used to know what I wanted to name my kids and nowww...I have no idea what I'd name them. I don't like normal names. Ugh, my poor future offspring.

Your first celebrity crush: Probably a Backstreet Boy. Brian, to be exact.

Your opinion on the television show Glee: OH LAWD. I can't get enough!

I feel like my fingers are drunk.

You know how when you ARE drunk, you can slur your words a bit, your tongue feels like it's catching and everything goes a little in slo mo? That's how my fingers feel on this keyboard. It's like they're just dragging across the keys.

Actually, in those last two sentences I had eight typos. Wtf?

Oh Sunday. You slay me. Tuesday will be worse, I'm sure. (For reasons I'm not yet disclosing.)