then buffy staked edward, the end.

I was planning on starting this entry in a calm, story-like manner – but I can’t. Right now, I can barely breathe. I can’t think straight.

I am going to be meeting this man come August and I think I’m going to die shortly after.




Ok, phew. Now on to what I was going to say, which has a lot to do with James anyway.


A couple years ago, no more than ten and no less than five, a young girl was flu-ridden on her couch, desperately trying to fill the void that was three days off from school and nothing but warm Coke and crackers.

Having just come off an Idle Hands kick, it was no surprise that she stopped flipping channels on a red-haired Seth Green, apparently part of a band that was traveling to LA and dealing with…vampires. Actually, one vampire in particular that went by the name of Spike and who the girl had yet to see. But, Seth Green was enough and so she stayed on that channel, watching as the hour of nine turned into the hour of ten and Buffy the Vampire Slayer gave way to Angel.

Thus started my foray into the world of Buffy. I was three and a half seasons in, but I’d be damned if that stopped me. I read up on episodes I missed, watched the reruns and caught myself up quickly, following it all the way to its demise in Season 7 and even hanging on for some Angel.

Buffy was a huge part of my life. I loved the characters, I loved the plots. I adored being a part of that pop culture cult.

This Saturday, I met my first celebrity ever and I was fortunate enough to have it be someone who is part of Buffy.


Yup, that’s Anya! Emma Caulfield is a doll. I was so star-struck I did nothing more than say, “Hi!” and “Thank you!” haha, but that’s ok! I got a picture with her and she signed my Once More With Feeling soundtrack.

And now…..whew, well now I’m going to meet the man I immediately dumped Seth for – James Marsters. James played Spike on Buffy and that man…yikes. I don’t even know what to say right now. He’s amazing. And I’m going to meet him.

He can bite me any time. Mmm, mm, mmmm.

ink tears.

One more depressing one, then later today I shall tell you about my weekend in Jim Thorpe.


The tears of the sky pelt the pavement,
Falling into puddles and a soothing rhythm.
The birds are gone now, like the sun,
As bright lightning cuts the clouds.

The rain soaks the carpet beneath my feet,
The chair creaks as I shift my weight,
Shrinking away from the slanted downpour.

The pen on the page runs in black rivulets,
Mimicking the cascade of mascara on my face.
My sobs are lost in the steady rumble,
As are the words I say that fall on your ears.

freshmen year again.

it was a rough year for me. expect the next couple to be depressing. i had to write a poem that didn't rhyme.


the chains are gone,
there is a hole where you were,
gaping and mocking,
mocking the girl i am today.
if only i had seen the error of my ways before,
the tangled mess i call my morals,
your heart would be free from pain by my words.
but i blindly led my way through the path
of thorns and poison.
no amount of scratches or blood stopped me –
until they began to reach your skin.

more than bridges.

another freshmen year writing. i took a creative writing class with an AMAZING professor who really helped me bring out some of my best pieces. the bottom of this poem is a haiku that i wrote before, then turned into this lil poem. again, the assignment was to write something descriptive.


More Than Bridges
The flames shoot outward,
Only to be beaten back by the water.
The screech of the sirens pierce my ears,
Yet touch nothing inside me.
I stand staring at the harsh light of the yellow blaze,
Following tendrils of smoke up to the sky.
A charred house remains,
The shell of what was once the source of my troubles.
Bad mood swings are typical
For a girl of brown eyes and hair.