Just now, because I was bored, I took a look at my phone’s user dictionary. You know, the words that you’ve typed to someone that aren’t already in the phone’s system, so to stop them from getting changed you input your own word. Here are some of the highlights:

Barfed and barfing - How are these words not in the dictionary to begin with? Don’t they know that a majority of cell phones belong to college kids who still can’t old their booze?

Downey, Gaga, Xmen, McAvoy – Can you tell what I’ve been obsessed with in Hollywood lately?

Every version of fuck you can think of.

And while we’re on my non-ladylike prowess, here are these - horseshit, dickhead, twat

Jawn, Septa – Thanks a lot, Philadelphia.

Lawd – Apparently I go all southern Baptist sometimes.

Nomnomnom

Poopy – Am I five?

Snitchesssss

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Vuvuzela

And last but not least, these were listed in order and I almost died laughing.

stripper, swag, tacos.

What the..?

I had an incredibly interesting week thus far, and it has a lot to do with bands and food.

Actually, right now I need to write this because of a food thing I’m doing. I have an hour left in this office and if I don’t start typing, I’m going to fall asleep.

I’m doing a Man vs. Food-like challenge. Man vs. Food is a TV show where Adam Richman (bless his heart and stomach) takes on HUGE food challenges, so I sought up some very big (or unusual) dishes in our area.

I won’t spoil it and tell you all of them (it gets published Wednesday, check it out then!) but I will tell you that today I ate a three and a half pound ice cream dish in 59 minutes.

A lot of time? Sure. But I’m a tiny thing, so the fact that I even finished at all was a miraculous occurrence. I got a t-shirt, they put my picture on the wall, and they had my time be the new standard.

You see, some high school football player came in and demolished the dish in 10 minutes and 3 seconds. Wtf?

That set the bar so high that they decided to wipe the board clean, and start with me. I may have set the bar kinda low, but whatever. Hello, personal victory!

This dish consists of: 6 scoops of ice cream, two bananas, whipped cream, 3 cherries, and 14 toppings.

I feel for Adam Richman, I do. The last twenty minutes were hell. I sat and stared at a TINY square of brownie and THREE stupid cherries. Those god damn cherries. I don’t really like cherries, so I saved them for last but…big mistake. When I was chewing them I felt like I was going to barf.

But then, all of a sudden, as I was shoving another piece of brownie into my mouth, it was like the clouds opened up. I shoveled the last four scoops in and was done.

Everything was just one goopy mess the entire time and looking down made me want to barf. I concentrated on the TV and on talking to the people in the shop and that helped a lot. But really, I almost threw up in my mouth twice.

The guy at the shop was so impressed I finished. He was so encouraging the whole time, and he talked to me and kept me busy, was so nice. I’m planning on writing them a thank you note, just for being so damn awesome.

As for me? Well, I have to go home and take a nap. A very long, long nap.

And I’m going to spend the last $20 to my name on Gaga’s album, because I FINALLY have the time to go get it.

Oi. Sugar, ice cream…ugh. I never want to see ice cream or any accoutrements of it EVER. AGAIN.