Just now, because I was bored, I took a look at my phone’s user dictionary. You know, the words that you’ve typed to someone that aren’t already in the phone’s system, so to stop them from getting changed you input your own word. Here are some of the highlights:

Barfed and barfing - How are these words not in the dictionary to begin with? Don’t they know that a majority of cell phones belong to college kids who still can’t old their booze?

Downey, Gaga, Xmen, McAvoy – Can you tell what I’ve been obsessed with in Hollywood lately?

Every version of fuck you can think of.

And while we’re on my non-ladylike prowess, here are these - horseshit, dickhead, twat

Jawn, Septa – Thanks a lot, Philadelphia.

Lawd – Apparently I go all southern Baptist sometimes.

Nomnomnom

Poopy – Am I five?

Snitchesssss

Tumblr

Vuvuzela

And last but not least, these were listed in order and I almost died laughing.

stripper, swag, tacos.

What the..?

I had an incredibly interesting week thus far, and it has a lot to do with bands and food.

Actually, right now I need to write this because of a food thing I’m doing. I have an hour left in this office and if I don’t start typing, I’m going to fall asleep.

I’m doing a Man vs. Food-like challenge. Man vs. Food is a TV show where Adam Richman (bless his heart and stomach) takes on HUGE food challenges, so I sought up some very big (or unusual) dishes in our area.

I won’t spoil it and tell you all of them (it gets published Wednesday, check it out then!) but I will tell you that today I ate a three and a half pound ice cream dish in 59 minutes.

A lot of time? Sure. But I’m a tiny thing, so the fact that I even finished at all was a miraculous occurrence. I got a t-shirt, they put my picture on the wall, and they had my time be the new standard.

You see, some high school football player came in and demolished the dish in 10 minutes and 3 seconds. Wtf?

That set the bar so high that they decided to wipe the board clean, and start with me. I may have set the bar kinda low, but whatever. Hello, personal victory!

This dish consists of: 6 scoops of ice cream, two bananas, whipped cream, 3 cherries, and 14 toppings.

I feel for Adam Richman, I do. The last twenty minutes were hell. I sat and stared at a TINY square of brownie and THREE stupid cherries. Those god damn cherries. I don’t really like cherries, so I saved them for last but…big mistake. When I was chewing them I felt like I was going to barf.

But then, all of a sudden, as I was shoving another piece of brownie into my mouth, it was like the clouds opened up. I shoveled the last four scoops in and was done.

Everything was just one goopy mess the entire time and looking down made me want to barf. I concentrated on the TV and on talking to the people in the shop and that helped a lot. But really, I almost threw up in my mouth twice.

The guy at the shop was so impressed I finished. He was so encouraging the whole time, and he talked to me and kept me busy, was so nice. I’m planning on writing them a thank you note, just for being so damn awesome.

As for me? Well, I have to go home and take a nap. A very long, long nap.

And I’m going to spend the last $20 to my name on Gaga’s album, because I FINALLY have the time to go get it.

Oi. Sugar, ice cream…ugh. I never want to see ice cream or any accoutrements of it EVER. AGAIN.

Each year Wilkes-Barre holds the Fine Arts Fiesta, which is an awesome gathering of local (and some national) people from the arts realm (I'm talking painting, dancing, sculpting, everything).
Of course, the Times Leader puts out a special section about it.

Well this year since I'm the newbie I've been assigned the honor *coughcough* of acquiring allllllll the lists and data provided the the FAF committee to put into the system and format.

I've been doing it ALL. DAY. I'm sitting here bulleting huge lists. I actually just caught myself holding my breath while I was methodically bulleting one.

No wonder I have such a god damn headache.

Well, where do I start?

I went full-time since we last spoke on here! It's been a whirlwind, let me tell you.

I'm trying to get used to working on things a week in advance and I'm also settling into my slight role as a news reporter.

That's right, on Sundays I'm the day reporter, which means I get to do more newsy things.

Which isn't too bad. I can't lie, I'm not in love with it. For one, it makes me nervous. I've never been trained in news reporting, really. I'm more of a features girl, not really one for the hard stuff.

I love hearing people's stories, but not when it's one of tragedy. For example, last week I had to look into a young girl's death. It was not pleasant and it bothered me most of the day.

I know I can't let things like that get to me, but I just can't help it.

Today, though, is awesome because I'm going to a Habitat for Humanity house dedication and the woman the house is for is a single mom that was paralyzed in a car accident three years ago. She actually worked on this house, as well as ANOTHER Habitat house, and she just seems so pleasant and positive and I really cannot wait to meet her later when I go for the dedication.

THAT is something I don't mind writing about. I was almost in tears when talking to her on the phone.

Maybe I get a little too into some of the stories, but I don't care. I'm a human being with feelings that generally, and genuinely, loves people. I hope that comes out in my writing.

Aaaand I'm back, bitches.

I found that on Tumblr I was just reblogging, reblogging, nothing original of my own, which I don't want to do for my blog. So here I am again! Back at it, Blogger.

Sorry I left you for so long.

Alright.

Unlike the aforementioned boyfriend, I'm going to own up to my cheating ways.

I like tumblr. A lot. It's more interactive, animated, yadda yadda. So, go here:

NEW!

It's fun times, I promise.

I'll miss you blogger. Unless I somehow start to dislike tumblr and move back here!

This is awesome.

Dear Black-Eyed Peas,

What in god's name is a "dirty bit"?

Not that I don't enjoy it, I just want to know what I'm shaking my ass to as I do the dishes most days.

I've been listening to Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You" on repeat for the past hour.

No, I don't know the words yet because I literally just spit the "fuck you" part out of my mouth every time it rolls by. I pay attention to nothing else.

Link is neutered, and it is not helping the fact that he barks at EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

He's 9 months old. Will he grow out of this? Someone please tell me he will. People look at him like he's mean, and he's NOT. His tail is wagging when he barks; he just wants attention.

Poor pupperface.

Enrique Iglesias's Tonight, the dirty version, does things to me that are just unhealthy.

you're welcome to buy me these.

i can't even.

This man. Ugh. Mark Duplass, of the League, among many other things. He's just so....gorgeous? And he's only 10 years older than me, so maybe I'd have a shot. Despite the fact that he's married to his League costar, but whatever.

She's a brunette.
So am i.

I still say I have a shot.

So, like I said, I did a story I'm obsessed with, and it's about wigs. See here:

Wigs!

I'm obsessed with it because I'm a huge hair person. I'm always dying and cutting mine, and I get bored very easily. I'll probably be bald by the time I'm 30, but whatever.

Well, when I went to do the wig story, I ended up trying on a wig and FALLING IN LOVE. So, I bought one.

Yep, I'm nearly 25 and I wear a wig sometimes. What of it? And I bet I'm going to buy another.

So here, constant reader, is my wig, in all its glory.

Obits are slow tonight. Thankfully, after the thirty cold ones I served up last night.

Pick your five TV shows (in no particular order) and answer the following questions. Don’t cheat!

A. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

B. True Blood

C. Glee

D. How I Met Your Mother

E. Saved by the Bell

1. Who’s your favorite character in B? - Tara. She's so tragic, it's annoying.

2. Who’s your least favorite character in A? - Ohhh boy. Hmm. No one immediately comes to mind. Maybe Willow, during her magic/druggie phase.

3. What’s your favorite episode of D? - Anything where Josh Radner looks hot. So, all of them.

4. What’s your favorite season of E? - Where they were working at the beach!

5. Who is your favorite ship in C? - Santana/Brittany

6. Who is your anti-ship in B? - Sam/Tara

7. How long have you watched A? - I came into it during the 4th season (the best one, IMHO), caught up with the first three, and watched it through the end. And I now watch the DVDs.

8. How did you become interested in C? - I'm a sucker for a musical, so my interest was piqued from the start.

9. Who’s your favorite actor/actress in D? - Actor: Josh Radnor!; Actress: Colbie Smulders. What a hottie and a funny woman.

10. Which do you prefer: Show A or B or E? - A. Buffy wins over everything.

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of, A or C? - A, simply because they have more.

12. If you could be anyone from D, who would you be? - Robin. She's just a great character.

13. How would you kill off your favorite character in A? - ACK why would I want to do that?! I would just push him out into the sun, of course. But, he's already come back from that once, so I dunno if it'd work.

14. Give a random quotation from A? - So I said to myself, "Self," I said...

16. Would a C/D crossover work? - IT HAS. NPH on Glee !

17. Pair 2 characters in A that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple. Willow and Spike.

18. Has E inspired you in any way? - It inspired me to buy a Mark Paul Gossealar puzzle, which I still have today.

19. Overall, which show has a better cast, B or D? - Oh man, B. Skaarsgard decides that.

20. Which has better theme music, C or E? - CLEARLY, E. And a better opening sequence too. Helloooo geometrical figures!

At first I thought, "New year, I'll make a new blog!" But no, that's too much work. So, I'll probably make a new layout.

Blogspot, I can't lie to you...I had a brief affair with Tumblr. But DON'T WORRY. I was confused as shit by it. It was more complicated than the boy I dated that went to the gym every single day yet lost no weight.

(I found out later his lard ass was cheating on me instead of gymming it up, natch. Too bad that form of exercise didn't help his flabby self at all, either.)

Speaking of lard ass, one thing I AM going to change this year is my weight. Seriously, I need to get on this. I've said it a gajilliion times, to no avail.

So, to force myself to get shit done, here you go:

I'm 160 pounds. 159.8, to be exact, but who's counting?

I would like to be 130.

Let's see if I can do this, eh?

Also, mayhaps I'll start vlogging. If I'm being forced to look at my face (which I deem chubby) and to have YOU guys looking at it, it'll make me want to lose more.

In other news, I did an awesome article on wigs that's coming out Thursday. I'm super pumped about it.

Want to know what the city editor just told me when I told him that obits have been packed, at a minimum of 20 every shift I've done?

"They're just dying to get in the paper."