blues.

In high school, I used to get the Sunday night blues. They have since evolved into the Monday morning blues.

Those of the Sunday variety seem stupid and insignificant in comparison to the ones I feel now and the situation that makes me feel them.

It’s odd because I’m at a comfortable spot where I have a plan that’s been set in motion (somewhat; nothing solid to tell you until a week from today). Things will be infinitely better in a month’s time and I should be using that simple fact to pull me through, but it’s very hard to.

It’s weird because I’m a mixture of living in the moment and thinking way too far ahead into the future. Each facet of me gets me into trouble. When I live in the moment right now I get upset and depressed, whereas thinking into the future would remedy that – but I can’t. Sometimes when I think into the future I think too far ahead and get worrisome, so living in the moment would remedy that – but I can’t.

For each situation I know what I have to do but I don’t do it. This is probably why I don’t sleep much anymore and am up at all hours of the night with a stomach ache and/or headache.

It’s completely not like me and completely needs to be changed and it will – give me a month or so.