So I found that I was asking myself a lot of questions when I woke up this morning.
Such as, where are our front steps? How can those birds possibly be chirping at me from that tree as I push a foot of snow off my car? How can I repay the nice man who took a snow blower to our front walk? Why is that guy up the street with the braces even attempting to walk his dog?
I’m not kidding about that last one. Guy’s like three hundred pounds and he smokes. He’s got braces attached to his arms that he uses to help him walk. Only time I ever see him out is when it snows and he’s with his dog. The dog runs around, he yells at it and feigns horror at the fact that he can’t chase after the thing. He holds a lot of conversations with himself in loud tones about how tired he is and what a pain in the ass the dog is. He’s loud and obnoxious and I swear to God if he ever falls down I am only going to use my cell phone to take pictures of it, not call an ambulance.
Is there an Olympic event for shoveling? ‘Cause if there is, I win the gold. And if not, fuck you Olympics. I felt like a curler this morning anyway, vehemently scraping the ice off my car.
Well, I’m off to shovel some more, as the white stuff just won’t stop falling. Toodles. : )
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